Insanity, thy name is Grey
by Mr. BramStoker
Summary: To say Jean Grey of the X-Men has a wild imagination would be considered plain. To say she has a talent of making the most unusual- not to mention, wildest of things to happen, then that's a fact. In the X-Men's opinion: wherever Jean is, madness and hilarity ALWAYS follows.


Insanity, thy name is Grey

"Augh! I can't believe we're doing spring-cleaning! In the middle of fragging JANUARY! This is an outrage!" Pyro griped bombastically, as he was sweeping a cobwebbed staircase in vain

"Give it a rest, will you? You don't see **me** yapping about all this work, do you?" Ghost Rider smirked, belching after taking a swig of beer. Victor then suddenly strode up and smacked the can out of GR's hand

"Thanks" Victor grimly replied, sauntering off. "Yeah, sure, go ahead and drink all my Marlboro liquor, why don't you?" Ghost Rider sarcastically sneered before doing an about face "Hey, where the bloody hell's Jean? She **knows** today's cleaning day!"

"Eh, I don't know. Last I heard from her, she was snoozing on her sofa up in the loft and…" Kurt paused, seeing the glare Logan gave him "Oops."

"Kurt, Kurt, Kurt, when in God's name will you learn to keep that mouth of yours shut?" Logan moaned, rubbing his forehead. Ghost Rider sauntered up the staircase before tripping on a bent railing.

"AAAUGH!" GR hollered, toppling onto Logan and Kurt with a loud crash.

"What in Jehovah's name is going on? I was in the middle of getting dressed for my Sermon!" Magneto growled, viewing the commotion from the upper wing. Seeing the three X-Guys' states, Magneto rushed down the stairs, levitated the three off the floor, then made a break for the med-lab.

"Yes, it's as expected. You three have broken your collarbones, your lower tibia, and… Mr. Howlett, you've also suffered a major breakage of your lower spine." Hank prompted, as Magneto, Scott, Victor and the X-Crew were present in the lab. Then, who showed up but Jean, wearing her pink bunny pajamas and with a hint of eyeliner on.

"Well, look who finally decided to wake up? What took you so long?" Jamie asked hesitantly. Jean simply yawned, then fell face-flat on the floor… and started snoring.

"…. Well, so much for bodies at motion." Remy quipped. Rogue slapped him up the head. "Another cheesy crack outta your mouth Gumbo, and you'll be on scrub duty for the next five weeks!" Sam hissed.

"SCRUB DUTY? NO! NOT SCRUB DUTY! ANYTHING BUT THAAATT!" Remy pleaded hysterically, burrowing his face in Logan's chest. "HEY! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!" Logan snarled, throttling Gambit like crazy.

"… um, maybe we should discuss this later." Hank meekly replied, as the squabble continued. "Now you tell us. We could've done this later, but **no**, you had to seize the day. Carpe diem, my butt!" Warren griped, as he and Scott carefully dragged a heavily snoozing Jean out of the lab.

"… Iceman wears pink bras." Jean mumbled in her sleep. Suddenly, all eyes were focused on Iceman. "… WHAT?" Bobby spat, outraged.

"oh god, I knew **this** would happen. I just knew it." Ray moaned in embarrassment. "Robert… is there a little, um, **confession** you have to announce?" Logan teased, snickering. "I'll give you a confession when I shove my fist up your…" Bobby started

"HEY! Not in front of the younger readers!" Victor objected, clamping his hand over Bobby's mouth, unaware of the strange stares he was getting.

"… what readers? This is the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning, for God's sake!" Hank exclaimed.

"I should be getting outta here." Logan heaved, limping out the door quietly as Hank and Victor babbled absurd nonsense.

"ugggh… oh dear Zeus above… what the hell **happened** last night?" Jean groaned, finally coming to. Rather clumsily, Scott and Warren dropped her on top of Todd.

"Oof!" Todd groaned before glaring at a snickering Scott and Warren "DUDES! WHAT THE HELL?"

"Huh, that's weird. I've never had a talking pillow before." Jean muttered in a weird voice. "What? Have you been drinking my tea again?" Wanda asked, snapping her fingers as Jean was in a dreamlike state. As a matter of fact, the entire lab was transforming into a psychedelic environment.

"Whoa!" Jean gasped at the sight of the new format. "No more Red Bull before bed for **this** gal, that's for sure" Jean reassured herself, before walking off a walkway

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!" Jean screamed in fear before finding herself on the back of a giant tarantula with dragon-like wings.

"You ok there, Red?" the creature asked, in a gruff voice that sounded like Logan. Jean was flabbergasted. She wasn't awake. She was **still** dreaming! Her mind- and body was in a subconscious realm, where dreams and reality are one and the same… not literally speaking.

"This isn't happening! Please, tell me this isn't happening!" Jean whimpered, trying to pinch herself awake, but no results. "Damn it! How do I get outta here?"

"Easy, by giving you a little nudge." The creature shrugged, its back now formed into a catapult, with Jean on the front.

"oh boy…" Jean groaned, bracing herself for the inevitable. Within seconds, she found herself launched out the window and now onto a weird, Heaven-like land… only to find it was occupied by large freakish gargoyles, with hyena heads.

"AAAAAAAAUUUUGGGHHH! PLEASE, SOMEONE GET ME AWAY FROM THIS NIGHTMARE!" Jean shrieked. As if on cue, a large lightning bolt struck Jean, teleporting her away from the beasts.

"Aw, crap!" The hyena-gargoyle snarled, snapping his fingers in disgust. Back at the mansion, the real Jean was asleep in her bed, when her astral form re-entered her body. All at once, the pale, ghostly white pallor faded from her, forming back into her beautiful, radiant skin. Jean sighed in relief before snoring again, fast asleep.

The next morning…

"Morning guys." Jean smiled, as she sat down with Warren, Lorna, Kitty and Alex for breakfast. "Hey beautiful." Warren teased, giving her a warm kiss on her forehead. "Jean, you were sleepwalking around the house yesterday. It was pretty neat." Alex piped up, sipping his coffee.

"What?" Jean asked, confused. Warren cleared his throat and started "Well, it's a long story, so let me start from the top" as everyone else groaned in boredom.

"I think this is gonna take a while, I'm just gonna…" Jean droned before plunking on the table, snoring.

"You know, I've been wondering, what actually **does** Jean think of in her dreams?" Alex thought, stroking his goatee.

"Trust me, Alex; there are some realities that are better left not spoken of." Lorna stated. "C'mon guys, let's watch the news. Let Jean get some rest" she ordered, as Alex, Warren and Bobby took their plates and headed to the lounge area. Lorna smiled as Jean slept and carefully laid her on the velvet couch, draping a blanket over her. Lorna stroked her red hair and kissed her on the cheek. Unbeknownst to her, her left eye opened. "Shhhhhhh…" Jean hushed at the camera before smiling.


End file.
